2014.

If you haven't noticed by now, I'm bad with words. In face-to-face conversations, through all forms of virtual interaction, in letters, and, yes, through this lovely little blog. I've typed out countless blogs just to follow up by clicking the 'delete' button, and hanging my head in shame of the stupid words that flowed from my fingertips. Every blog I've posted, I cringe whenever I go back and read the messy vocabulary and disoriented thoughts. They seem over-dramatic, brainless, and pointless in my mind. Because I'm bad with words. And my awkwardness doesn't help the cause.

Due to the lack of confidence in my writing/ranting skills, I fell into the worst writer's block I've ever experienced. But, of course, after months of said writer's block beginning, my mind stirred up something to bring the year to an end. It will probably be just as messy as my other blogs, but here's to going through with it and blabbering anyway.

As the New Year will ring in, in just a couple days, my brain has been working overtime, going through the events of 2014. This year was far from what I ever expected it to be, but exactly what I didn't know I needed it to be. So, to reminisce on all that happened, I've put together a list of the things I learned these last 12 months - good and bad. Here's what I came up with...

• Reading a whole book in one day is good for the mind.
• If I'm comfortable where I am, I shouldn't get too used to it because it will change.
• God will get to me in anyway He needs to.
• Trying to ignore the harshness of reality and live in a fantasy usually leaves me gasping for more.
• I can brush some things off my shoulder because they're not worth anything more.
• Some friendships aren't worth fighting for.
• Crying isn't something to be ashamed of.
• Denny's at midnight is the last place to be with a cold.
• Walls are made to fall down.
• God will always mend the broken pieces.
• Music really is good for the soul.
• It's not about the experience, it's about the lesson learned.
• Anything is fun with a California Sunshine and New Hampshire Sister.
• God replaces my definition of good with His definition of good if I let Him.
• Sometimes I have to go for a long ride in a "swagtastic" van and talk about the incredibleness of God and the sky and all the little things.
• Sometimes I have to pour out my heartache in that same van.
• Being barefoot as much as possible is good.
• Everything is perfect in His timing.
• Sitting on the floor and listening to friends jam is all I need at times to turn my week around.
• Taking life too seriously is harmful to my perspective.
• Nothing I do on this earth matters if it doesn't have an impact on eternity.
• It's not always a bad thing to fall in love with a Cucumber.
• When I'm all alone at a freezing outdoor concert to see friends, the amazing parents of a couple band members will bring me hot chocolate.
• Being myself doesn't push away the people God wants in my life.
• I am His Cathedral.
• Even people that work for a Christian music website with me and live light years away can be some of my greatest friends and support system.
• I don't have to try so hard.
• Worship isn't scheduled.
• I'm not in control of my own life, and that's more than alright.
• There's absolutely nothing wrong with dancing at a concert in a college chapel with your friends.
• The problems of others greatly exceed mine.
• There's beauty in sticky, hot, summer days, with the addition of an aggressive thunderstorm, at a camp in the middle of nowhere.
• Stepping back and taking a breath is okay.
• Laughter and joy is necessary.
• The fear of judgement controls me.
• Sporadic conversations in a makeshift recording studio/shed can refresh my spirit.
• Bonfires are friendship-makers.
• Some people love me for me and they are the ones who matter.
• Selfies are good.
• Sitting in the grass and listening to local bluegrass bands with one of your best friends brings a feeling of belonging.
• An emoji, or lack of, doesn't prove someone's like or dislike of me.
• Loving people is everything.
• I want to know Jesus more than anything.
• He'll lead me where I belong.
• Everything will be okay.

2014, you'll be hard to beat, but I'm hoping 2015 is a good competition.

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." -C.S. Lewis